So what’s really the point? If any faith tradition is essentially the same, and we’re all going to be reconciled with God eventually, why don’t we all just get our kicks in the here and now? One answer is that we experience this life more fully and vibrantly by loving without constraint. I’ve personally found greater reward in not seeking any reward either financially or materially, nor by reputation or power. I’m not swearing to a life of abject poverty, but I’m not seeking these things for their own end, especially if I’m driven by a desire to have more, be more or be better than others.

I don’t think I’m alone when I say this, but I unlocked a whole new level of life when I had children. I loved my parents, siblings and wife, but not in the same altruistic way that I love my kids. If a doctor were to tell me that one of my kids needed a heart transplant and my heart would fit, it would take me about two seconds of deliberation to decide to rip the thing out. What does that vibrancy of feeling do? Parents know the intensity of feeling everything that their child feels: hurt, fear, joy, wonder. What if our quest, our meaning, our purpose, is to love God like that and in so doing, find a new depth of love for all of creation? That’s the kind of unconditional yet reciprocal love described by Christian mystics: Hildegard of Bingen, John of the Cross, Richard Rohr. We are loved without constraint by God, so much so that he forged a bond with us that exemplified that limitless, self-sacrificing love in Christ. That’s the example and the challenge that’s set before each of us. It’s no easy thing to love without constraint, to put ourselves behind others. And the concept isn’t limited to Christianity: Call it Self-Actualisation (secular psychology), Enlightenment (Buddhism), or Everlasting life (Christianity), but it’s a level of vibrancy and connection that can only be derived by seeking happiness for others.

For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it. — Luke 9:24
All the suffering there is in this world arises from wishing our self to be happy. All the happiness there is in this world arises from wishing others to be happy. ― Shantideva

And if the nebulous talk of greater self-fulfilment isn’t enough, consider this: Many (maybe most) positive health outcomes, both mental and physical, are correlated with a person’s connection to the transcendent (a.k.a. spirituality and religion). That’s right, I’ll say it again: Committing oneself to a purely rational worldview, even though it’s also incomplete and will never explain the human’s place in the universe, is scientifically and rationally inferior based on empirical evidence of poorer mental and physical health outcomes for that person. As Westerners we’ve adopted some pretty common habits such as toting around bottles of water all day based on far less compelling science. And there’s clearly a high correlation between a connection to the transcendent and better social outcomes: Better marriages, less crime, more social capital and better relationships. As I said earlier, if you’re in it for the reward (less anxiety, overcoming addiction, reducing heart disease, healthier kids, having a happy marriage, or preventing dementia) you’re kind of missing the point but still, one only needs to start the journey… the reason for that first step isn’t all that important.

In short, I’m a better person that I would have been without that connection. I’m not better than those that can’t make that leap… and I’m certainly far from perfect… but I am better than me.