What do you seek? Is it to be thinner? To not drink so much? To see friends more? To be less angry? To spend less money? To study more? We’re all after some goal that constantly eludes us. And what do all of these goals have in common? At their root, they’re about self-discipline. Every one of these goals, if they’re worthwhile, relies upon our ability to put aside our short-term pleasure and look forward to a more abstract, less tangible end-state. I’d like to lose weight, but man I could murder a bacon double cheeseburger right now… and Uber eats is just a few clicks away…

And putting aside immediate gratification isn’t just about our personal goals, it’s about being good neighbours, better global citizens, better voters. There probably wouldn’t be any crime, or pollution, or say-anything-to-get-elected governments if we all made good decisions with our long-term well-being in mind. In short, each of us would probably be better and the whole of humanity would be better if we all didn’t do what feels best in the moment. What’s more, this “long-term” thinking, or the mortification of the flesh in Christian parlance, is a feature of every mainstream world religion. Why? Putting aside the immediate, the easy, and the indulgent, is the flip-side of “non-attachment”, and an unavoidable prerequisite for a relationship with the divine.

Short-term pleasure doesn’t lead to happiness and paradoxically, it actually distracts from it. When we enjoy something enough to crave it, to form habits around it or to rely on it, whether it be something as banal as TV or as sinister as heroin, we are certainly no longer non-attached to that thing. It becomes a diversion from what truly matters — something that creates an unnecessary personal “need” and starts to motivate us towards that corporeal end. And if we’re motivated by a self-indulgent desire, we’re slightly less altruistic than we could have been.

But non-attachment is a virtuous cycle. I find that taking time to pray, or to meditate, or to just be… to let go of all of the distractions, and worries, and superficial desires, even temporarily… allows me to connect to the only real need that matters: The desire for a relationship that provides meaning, and indirectly provides happiness, and peace and fulfilment. This desire allows me to let go of the superficial needs, thereby granting a little more self-discipline as well. So the lifehack is this: If you want a little more self-discipline in all things, try working on your self discipline in one thing: prayer.